After
being a huge advocate of appreciating what you have instead of seeing all that
you don’t have or how far one falls below one’s ideal, I caught myself doing
the opposite…the opposite of gratitude, of “having”. I went into “not having”.
I
was not having all the progress I wanted.
I was not having great energy at night, but I was having overwatching of
tv (political commentary programs) and idly eating. I
was not getting as much writing done as I wanted to. I was not being super-strong,
super-powerful…able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... I was not even being what I thought was
productive enough. I was not..."notting" myself toward not feeling so happy.
Here I am trying to be an expert in this - and finding that even I am subject to the laws if I violate the process...
But
now I see that I am just living my life as it is, with beautiful days to be
appreciated, looking at great views, reading some wonderful books, discovering
some wonderful things – and at the pace that is my pace for now. Yes, I’d prefer something magnificent and being a model of perfect living, but I
see that what I am doing and how I am living is a wonderful gift - and I need not compare it to fantasyland.
I'm glad I saw this and wasn't just stuck in it, in just being unaware...
It
need not be more. It is more than
enough. I am grateful, deeply
grateful. Life is phenomenal.
I
am so grateful for the special chance to be alive.
I’m
happy.
Me
Yesterday,
I didn’t live a full 24 hours, though I did exist. I did live some hours though and was deeply
touched by a movie (The Help). So what,
if I was human and lived only part of the potential... That is just what is so. But what is great is that I did live at least
a few of the hours, a few at a higher level and some not so high – but all a
gift – all something I might not have had if I hadn't been born.
And…I’m
grateful deep within my heart and soul...and life is good...
